Early in the final year of my teacher training at Mount Saint Mary's I fell in love. Within months I had decided that this girl was the one. By the end of that year I was off to the country as a beginning teacher, leaving her behind in Sydney to complete her own studies.
For the next three years I lived alone in small flat next to the local footy oval. I involved myself in sport, community service and work, and kept myself very busy. I enjoyed it all, but without her, it was never home.
In the latter part of my third year, I was applying for four or five jobs a week, longing to get back to her. After what must have been twenty-five or thirty applications a principal asked me straight out in an interview why I was so determined to come back to the city. I told him the truth, and within fifteen minutes of the interview, he offered me the job. I called my mum, and then I called Shayne.
My experience of long-distance love (and telephone bills) is why the opening line of this Sunday's readings rings so true for me. 'It is not good for man to be alone.'
In this reading from the creation story, we are told that human beings are made for one another. In the image and likeness of God, we are intended to be relational beings - created by God in love, for love.
So when the Gospel begins to speak about divorce and adultery it's slightly jarring.
The Gospel writer tells us that the Pharisees were trying to test Jesus, and He responds to them as strongly as he has to any other challenge. Marriage, he affirms, is not something that should be entered into with contingency plans. Neither, I would suggest, is any other relationship.
Love enriches us. It brings out in us a dimension of our humanity that reflects our creator, whether it is romantic love, deep friendship or the love of family. St Paul tells us that, of the three theological virtues, the greatest is love. And this is why it hurts so much when relationships break down. We lose a part of ourselves whenever it happens. That part of us that existed in that relationship, doesn't exist anymore. At least not in the same way.
The Church's teaching that marriage is an indissoluble bond is based upon these passages from Sunday's liturgy. And for the many that experience the breakdown of relationships and the loss of something that they expected to be for life, this is a difficult doctrinal position to accept.
As someone that has taught this doctrine for many years, and someone that has experienced the breakdown of family and friends' marriages over the years, I find it hard too. I admit that I have asked why, that I have judged, and that I have withdrawn, not knowing what to say. But on reflection I come back to the earlier statement that we are created by God in love, for love.
I pray for God to create in me a heart that can respond to their pain with love. And I give thanks for the enduring love of the one that waited for me and continues to love me unconditionally after all these years.
Comments
Post a Comment