This Sunday we celebrate the Feast of Pentecost.
The entrance antiphon proclaims that 'The love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Spirit of God dwelling within us.'
The immediate and vivid memory this prompts in me is primary school, felt banners, guitars and children's voices belting out...
♫ God is dwelling in my Heart. He and I are one. All His joy He gives to me, through Christ His son. And with Jesus in my heart, what have I to fear. For He is the Son if God. In my Heart he is near.
To this day it's a loud sense-memory, and a happy one.
In the first reading this Sunday we also hear a loud sense-memory from the apostles.
'Suddenly, they heard what sounded like a powerful wind from heaven, the noise of which filled the entire house.'
The Gospel tells us that they were all gathered in one place 'for fear of the Jews.' It's not clear whether there is any particular threat that they are hiding from, or whether they are still suffering the trauma of witnessing Jesus' Passion. Nonetheless, they have turned inwards, and they are scared.
Then, in the various different ways that the Acts of the Apostles, St Paul's letter and the Gospel describe, they receive the Holy Spirit.
AND. THEY. ARE. CHANGED.
If nothing else from the Gospel is convincing, this is the one thing that should be. In one moment, the disciples go from a frightened, huddled, traumatised remnant of Jesus' followers, to bold disciples, proclaiming the risen Christ, the love of God, and the forgiveness of sins, regardless of the danger.
They find courage, they find their voice, and they are willing to lay down their lives.
♫ And with Jesus in my heart, what have I to fear. For He is the Son if God. In my Heart he is near.
It's the story of Pentecost that informs our understanding of the sacrament of Confirmation, through which we receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit. Each one of us receives the same measure of the same Spirit that transformed the disciples into active apostles.
As we celebrate Pentecost this Sunday it is forty-four years since my own confirmation. Forty-four years of the fullness of the Holy Spirit dwelling in me. And I have to ask myself whether I have lived fully into that Spirit. To live what I believe. To speak up for what I believe. And to accept that sometimes there is a cost for doing so, but doing it anyway.
I can honestly say that I do try. But I also have to admit that, honestly, the Spirit must be shaking their head at me sometimes.

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